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FILED · LONELINESS

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Words loneliness kept inside

Loneliness is not just about being alone. You can be lonely in a crowded room, in a relationship, surrounded by people who care about you. It is the feeling that no one really knows what is going on inside you. That if you tried to explain, they would not understand. That the real you is invisible.

The cruelest thing about loneliness is that it often prevents its own cure. When you feel most alone, reaching out feels hardest. The words get stuck. You don't want to be a burden. You don't know how to start. You convince yourself that no one really wants to hear from you anyway.

Messages written from loneliness are messages to the connection you wish you had. Sometimes they are to specific people: the friend you have lost touch with, the family member who feels distant even when they are close. Sometimes they are to no one in particular, just the wish that someone, somewhere, understood.

Three places to begin

  1. I.Who do you wish you could talk to right now?
  2. II.What would you say if someone was really listening?
  3. III.What do you need someone to understand?

From the drawer

pulling a few letters…

Often written to

A few quiet questions

01.

Who do I write to if I feel alone?

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You can write to anyone. A specific person you miss, someone you wish understood, or no one in particular. Sometimes the most powerful lonely messages are addressed simply to "whoever is listening." The act of writing itself breaks the silence.

02.

Will writing about loneliness make it worse?

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For most people, the opposite happens. Loneliness feeds on silence. Putting words to the feeling, even here, is an act against isolation. Others who read your letter may feel less alone because of it.

03.

What if I don't know what to say?

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Start with what's true: "I'm lonely." That's enough. You don't need to explain or justify or tell a story. Sometimes the simplest statement is the most powerful one.